< Blog >

in the absence of expected disaster, we are
left again to what we do not want to be
left again to: each other—each other’s eyes

to Hive being

welcome

What is Hive Being, and Why the Name?

You have likely heard talk of a hive mind, where one global mind finds more or less figurative expression in various local minds. Such talk is common enough in nature documentaries, especially ones concerning ants or bees, and in sci-fi programs. Take that notion, at least a loose version of it, and broaden its scope. That will be a decent first step in understanding the title I have chosen both for my Blog and for the first five-volume installment of my magnum opus Made For You and Me, a fragmentary collection of minimalist stanzas from 2016 to 2020.

In alignment with Spinoza (the 17th Century Rationalist to whom I devoted my doctoral studies), I view reality in its totality as a grand hive Being: all entities are but pulsating manifestations of the buckstopping fount of everything, an ultimate being we might call “God” or “Nature” (so long as, out of respect for the capital “G” and the capital “N,” we limit it neither to some anthropomorphic cloud father hurling lightning bolts nor to mere wilderness untouched by human smog). According to the hive-Being view (where reality is one lone superorganism, a monistic—and we might even say unividualist—conception I defend in both my creative and academic capacities), each non-foundational being (each being, that is, whose essence does not involve existence) is an utterly necessitated expression or eruption or exudation of this eternal source—each is, perhaps better put, a mode or manner of being, and so a focal point through which is disclosed, what classical theists sometimes call “being itself” (ipsum esse subsistens): the realness of the real, the being of whatever may be, the sheer activity of being, the very isness of whatever is. This Blog, which duplicates my Substack, throbs as but one among many literary unfurlings of this self-necessitated foundation, this supreme wellspring, of which we—like black holes and broken beliefs, like fractal ferns and flickering flames—are the inevitable stylings.

My Journey

I am an academic who found himself pressured into early retirement by the rising tides of cancel culture. The illiberal scourge of censoring, silencing, and shaming—although always with us throughout our evolution—reached a local peak around 2021. That was the turbulent year my creative pursuits, which the old left once encouraged as a healthy outlet for the stresses of a childhood steeped in poverty and illiteracy, drew the ire of the new safe-space left. A small cadre of self-proclaimed victims and their allies, several of whom continue to berate me years later under pseudonyms as see through as their sexual infatuation, sought to erase me and my heterodoxy. They found support from a wannabe-woke dean, covered in the grand inquisitor robes of our decadent modernity (full-body tattoos) and just itching to signal his commitment to protecting “vulnerable populations” from triggering material (even if just, as it was in my case, off-duty poems “unbecoming for someone calling himself a teacher”). Although I eventually won my due-process case with the help of The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression, I slunk away from a college that turned its back on protecting freedom of expression and from an institution increasingly intolerant of intellectual diversity.  

The wrecking ball to my too-comfy office in the windowless ivory tower came with a silver lining. From the ashes of my professional aspirations rose a phoenix of increased freedom to fulfill the literary calling I have pursued for decades. Reputation concerns never stopped me, even within academia’s sterile halls of conformity. Indeed, my unapologetic defiance, which has long baffled friends and family, no doubt chummed even safe waters—almost as if I were asking for it all along—until the cancel shiver grew too frenzied to hold back its blind thrashings. But now, now I piston the most forbidden territories of human thought with no longer even a twinge of conscience. The newfound freedom means extra time to hone my craft. When not assisting special-needs communities (a day job far more rewarding than freeway-flyer drudgeries), I pursue my literary mission with Dionysian fervor.

Call for Co-Conspirators

This space, my digital sanctuary, showcases the fruits of my mission. Think of my posts, even those linking to my publications, as works in progress. I want your input, unflinching brutality included. Each post begins with an invitation to action: “Let’s workshop this [draft about x, y, z].” Your contributions, whether through public comments or my contact page, help hammer scraps of ore into polished blades fit for magazine publication.

Your input is valuable, even if you are neither a writer nor a reader of literature—twin disciplines dying by the cyber nanosecond. Sometimes—even if at the risk of uttering banalities—an outsider’s fresh vantage can pierce the veils of convention to reveal what insiders miss. It often takes an outsider to make us even think to question our ingrained presuppositions and attitudes. I stand by the hygienic value of contagion. That is one reason I advocate so strongly for intellectual diversity and freedom of expression. And that is also one reason I was so harrowed by the anti-diversity swell of cancel culture in academia (an institution that should be the utmost caretaker of such values)—harrowed especially insofar as that swell masqueraded under the gaslighting guise of “diversity”).

You will witness the breathing evolution of my writings over time. To track these changes, I label each revision by round: “ROUND 2,” ROUND 3,” and so forth. Each piece undergoes continuous refinement based on your feedback and my own revisitations. Sometimes changes will mar the work. That is the risk of creative tinkering as a finite creature. I hope you will alert me to missteps. After many semesters of university writing workshops, one rule has impressed itself upon me: when someone senses a flaw, something almost always needs to change—even if, yes, the proposed solution misses the mark (which often it does). From a quick look into the archives, accessible here, you can see how much I have benefited from your feedback so far.

My Hope

Sharing drafts can be daunting. But showing you the ravaged and unperfumed real deal unfiltered by makeup (stuttering starts and falsities, awkward line breaks and clumsy word choices, grammatical errors and misspellings)—that not only makes my work more relatable, but helps me refine things through your input. I hope the unfiltered look at the raw process of fumbling, rather than just the polished product, also helps other writers develop their craft. Imperfect works often instruct more than perfect ones: whereas the perfect ones tend to have a grace by which they slip inside us without activating our scrutiny, the imperfect ones—especially the near perfect ones—show us glaringly what not to do.

People laugh at me, seeing—in my tilting at the windmills of literary excellence—a Don Quixote clunking around in Arthurian armor in a post-knight era. I am not naïve. I am well aware of the diminishing ability to read, let alone well: slowly and deeply, with gratitude. I am also aware that my style, which often nests subpoints within larger points, never waters down virtuosity for the sake of mass appeal. I watch readers stumble over my sentences, unable to unlock even just the music of the envelope let alone the semantic meat within, which—given my tendency to flashlight through the darker facets of human nature (the addicts, the miscreants, the abusers among us)—only adds an additional alienating layer of difficulty). Beholding these depressive scenes of even supportive family members getting bucked off my syntactic bronco makes me feel like a dinosaur who should get a hint and, if not succumb to the brain rot of skibidi-toilet speak, just hang himself already. Even though the decline in linguistic background and grammatical voltage makes my compositions seem quixotic in a world binging Netflix and TikTok, I persist—raging against the dying of the light—by some internal compulsion to celebrate the richness of language and thought.

My hope is that, despite social media’s unparalleled power to farm our attention, people never forget the unique power of writing. Beyond unveiling hypocrisy, teasing out complex implications, and detailing the commonalities between even the most alien phenomena, writing offers something we need today—trapped in agoraphobic cyber bubbles only thickened by the Lyme dangers of forests and the COVID dangers of cities—perhaps more than ever. Granting us rich access to the first-person perspectives of others (to how things feel to them), writing serves as one of humanity’s best tools for combating loneliness. It allows us to linger, broadly and deeply and at high resolution, within the inner lives of others in a way that other arts can only suggest.

What to Expect

My work spans a broad spectrum: from metaphysical discourses on free will and determinism and the ontology of holes to the ephemera of western culture (whether the childhood impacts of the hypersexual mono-image of black woman as squirting twerkers or Terrence Howard’s sham revolution of mathematics). Some tight and minimal, others free-flowing sprawls; some heady and abstract, others emotional and imagistic—my inkwell musings, which often blend scholarly rigor with a dark humor from both high and low culture, aim to capture the visceral intensity of our personal and social and ultimately existential predicaments.

By no means can I deny that drug abuse, sexual assault, and the tales of the broken and the damned loom large in the tag cloud of my work. My writing will never be a paradise of easy truths and comforting lies. It will challenge you, provoke you, and at times even repulse you. I offer no apologies for the monsters I unleash. They are as much a part of us, at long root scared rodent mammals scurrying in the shadows of dinosaurs, as our noblest aspirations.

But make no mistake. It is not all downer darkness. The archives are my receipts. You will find pieces exploring the pursuit of authenticity in a media-saturated world, the search for meaning in an indifferent cosmos, and the celebration of beauty in both the sublime and the profane. I locate much of my inspiration, in fact, in novelists like Dostoevsky and poets like Ted Kooser—writers unafraid to pursue moral agendas or risk Hallmark sentimentality in an age that often sneers at sincerity.

Be they satirical dissections of modern social dynamics or poignant poems about addiction or academic articles on moral responsibility, my goal is to provoke thought, evoke emotion, and foster meaningful dialogue. Fear has not and will not stop me from challenging humanity’s fundamental taboos (like bestiality and cannibalism) or self-reflecting into the dark chaos of the subconscious, even if that means exposing the Jungian shadows—the inner Goebbels—lurking within us all!

Expect posts each day, no day missed. Donations are welcome, but I impose no paywall: it feels wrong to charge for art, especially given our date with obliteration. Feel free to explore what amounts to, at the time of writing this, close to a thousand pieces of poetry and prose here. That should give you a sense of what awaits.

Join me—specula holstered—on this literary odyssey into the public and private nooks of the hive Being. Let us navigate the labyrinth of creation together, confronting our demons and even slaying our darlings if we must. Let us dance on the razor’s edge between the sublime and the profane in pursuit of an elusive literary perfection never to be confused—as it has been confused in our declining civilization—with the pursuit of popularity or likeability over truth.

Featured Posts

RSS Feed Link
The Tooth
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

The Tooth

The Tooth presents a raw, visceral portrayal of a strained father-son relationship, shaped by addiction, violence, and a quest for validation. The poem is divided into three sections, each depicting different moments of emotional manipulation, cruel humor, and desperation, where the son—both victim and instigator—comes to terms with his father’s self-destructive behavior while grappling with his own emerging sense of identity and power.

The first section introduces the father’s addictions, presenting them as a backdrop to the son’s childhood. The father’s "oral fixation" manifests in chain-smoking and excessive drinking, both of which the son observes with a mixture of frustration and fascination. The vivid imagery of the father’s substance abuse—Newport 100s lit in succession, cases of Natural Ice consumed daily—sets the tone for the chaotic and dysfunctional dynamic between father and son. The son’s response is initially one of rebellion, expressed through pranks that, although humorous on the surface, hint at a deeper desire for control and revenge against a father who has repeatedly broken promises to quit drinking. The pranks evolve from lighthearted actions like throwing bologna on his sleeping father to darker, more demeaning acts, such as drawing a clown face on him while unconscious. This escalation mirrors the son’s increasing frustration with his father’s inability to change, as well as his own growing thirst for power over the man who once held authority in his life.

The second section delves deeper into the psychological complexity of their relationship. The son uses emotional manipulation to toy with his father’s guilt, constructing false narratives of abuse in order to provoke a reaction. The son’s performance, laden with after-school-special-style dialogue, showcases the depth of his cunning as he exploits his father’s drunken state. The father, despite his inebriation, is drawn in by the son’s fabricated stories, falling into a state of protective rage, sobbing and threatening to kill the imaginary abuser. This scene is both tragic and darkly comedic, as the father’s genuine concern is met with the son’s insincere playacting. The son’s need to provoke an emotional response from his father reveals a deeper longing for attention and validation, even if it means manipulating the man who is already emotionally fragile. The son’s fabricated accusations of "love games" reflect the blurred boundaries between affection, manipulation, and violence that characterize their relationship.

In the final section, the poem reaches its climax with the father’s self-inflicted tooth extraction. The scene is charged with a sense of masochistic pride as the father, goaded by his son’s taunts, proves his love and paternity by pulling out his own molar with a pair of linesman pliers. The son’s manipulation in this moment is both calculated and cruel, as he questions his father’s identity and challenges him to prove his worth. The father’s response—“If I love ya!”—is both a declaration of affection and a submission to the son’s power, as he mutilates himself to affirm his paternal role. The violent act of tooth-pulling becomes a grotesque metaphor for the father’s desperation to hold onto his place in his son’s life, even at the cost of physical pain and humiliation. The linoleum splattered with blood serves as a stark visual representation of the emotional carnage that has been building throughout the poem.

Throughout The Tooth, the son’s relationship with his father is marked by a complex interplay of love, resentment, and power. The son’s pranks and manipulations are not merely acts of rebellion but expressions of a deeper desire for control in a world where the father’s addictions and failures have rendered him powerless. The father, in turn, is portrayed as a tragic figure, both complicit in his own downfall and desperate for his son’s approval, even if it means self-destruction. The poem captures the cyclical nature of their dysfunction, where love is intertwined with cruelty, and validation is sought through pain. The repeated phrase, "If I love ya," underscores the father’s desperate need to prove his worth through extreme actions, while the son’s calculated manipulation reveals his growing understanding of the power dynamics at play.

Ultimately, The Tooth offers a stark commentary on the complexities of familial relationships, where love is often expressed through violence, manipulation, and self-sacrifice. The poem’s visceral imagery and dark humor amplify the emotional intensity of the father-son dynamic, leaving the reader to grapple with the unsettling nature of their bond.

father-son relationship, addiction, manipulation, self-destruction, power dynamics, oral fixation, familial dysfunction, emotional manipulation, tooth-pulling, dark humor, violence, paternal love, visceral imagery.

Read More
Photograph of Woman Who Fell off Her Bike
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Photograph of Woman Who Fell off Her Bike

"Photograph of Woman Who Fell off Her Bike" critiques the dynamics of power, manipulation, and sacrifice in a relationship framed by artistic ambition. Jacques-Henri, likely a reference to the French photographer Jacques-Henri Lartigue, uses his wife not only as a subject for his photography but also as an instrument of his creative process. The poem opens with the wife’s enthusiastic support for her husband’s genius, but this enthusiasm is steeped in her understanding that his art always takes precedence. Her excitement about the bike ride is tempered by the knowledge that it is not a moment for shared leisure but a professional opportunity for Jacques-Henri, who brings his camera “only from habit.” This detail highlights the husband’s detachment from the experience of bonding with his wife, as his creative drive eclipses the personal connection.

The moment when she falls off her bike introduces vulnerability and potential critique. The wife anticipates judgment, bracing herself for his likely lecture about her lack of skill or preparation. Her preemptive groaning and explanation underscore the fear of criticism that defines their relationship. However, Jacques-Henri's response is not focused on her well-being but rather on preserving the aesthetic moment. His sole concern lies in "getting the shot," objectifying her through his lens. By making her reenact the fall for the camera, he strips the event of its personal and emotional reality, reducing his wife to a tool for his artistic vision. The poem captures the wife’s internalization of this dynamic, as she is "happy to oblige," finding solace in the fact that she was not scolded. This acceptance illustrates the depth of her submission and the asymmetry in their relationship, where her value is tied to her utility in advancing his creative endeavors.

power dynamics, artistic ambition, submission, objectification, photography, manipulation, relationship imbalance, creative process, gender roles, vulnerability in marriage.

Read More
A Goonie (like Lady Bunny)
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

A Goonie (like Lady Bunny)

The piece titled "A Goonie (like Lady Bunny)" engages with the complex intersections of radical individualism, social taboos, and the contemporary culture wars. Drawing inspiration from controversial figures like Georges Bataille and the Marquis de Sade, the author constructs a persona who champions an eclectic set of beliefs and practices, ranging from miscegenation and crossdressing to more extreme behaviors such as cannibalism and zoophilia. This persona is framed as an unapologetic opponent of societal norms, particularly those that the persona views as hypocritical—such as the consumption of certain animals while condemning others, or the harvesting of plant life while decrying the use of animal byproducts.

The piece further explores the persona's war against what he perceives as the "safe-space ethos" pervasive in contemporary culture, particularly in the context of cancel culture, censorship, and the suppression of dissenting views. The persona criticizes the anti-Nietzschean tendencies of modern society, where intellectual and artistic freedom is curtailed in the name of protecting sensitivities. This critique extends to the policies of HR and DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) departments, which the persona sees as reinforcing this ethos beyond the theoretical level.

Interestingly, the persona's alignment against cancel culture and safe-space mentality brings him into uncomfortable proximity with right-wing figures who, despite sharing his disdain for censorship, harbor regressive views on issues like gender identity and body positivity. The piece highlights the irony of this entanglement, as the persona finds himself allied with those who mock trans and fat people, despite his own advocacy for freedom from societal norms. The tension between the persona's radical libertarianism and the bigotry of some of his allies underscores the complexity and contradictions inherent in the modern discourse on freedom, identity, and social justice.

radical individualism, cancel culture, censorship, social taboos, Nietzschean critique, safe-space ethos, Bataille, de Sade, trans rights, fat shaming, identity politics, social justice, DEI, cultural hypocrisy.

Read More
Lyrics to "Groveville Taste"
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Lyrics to "Groveville Taste"

In the lyrics to "Groveville Taste," the speaker navigates the tumultuous landscape of a relationship marked by betrayal, mistrust, and the darker facets of human connection. The refrain, "Now a queen's a queen and a stunt is a stunt, you can tell who's who by the things they want," establishes a dichotomy between genuine affection and manipulative self-interest, framing the ensuing narrative of disillusionment. The verses vividly depict the speaker’s descent into a toxic relationship, characterized by drug use, infidelity, and a blurred line between love and lust. The speaker reflects on the emotional and psychological toll this relationship takes, including the damaging impact it has on his sense of self and his responsibilities as a father. The raw and explicit language, detailing sexual encounters and violent altercations, emphasizes the intensity of the speaker's experiences, conveying a sense of chaos and moral ambiguity.

The lyrics also explore themes of codependency and self-destruction, as the speaker acknowledges his own complicity in the relationship's dysfunction. Despite recognizing the warning signs and the degradation of his partner's character, he remains entangled in a cycle of desire and regret. The narrative culminates in a sense of resignation, as the speaker contemplates the futility of trying to salvage something meaningful from a relationship so steeped in deceit and exploitation. The repeated refrain serves as a stark reminder of the fundamental differences between the speaker and his partner, underscoring the inevitable collapse of their relationship.

Ultimately, "Groveville Taste" presents a gritty and unflinching portrayal of a relationship gone awry, where the pursuit of pleasure and the need for validation lead to a path of emotional ruin. The lyrics offer a commentary on the complexities of love and the ways in which individuals can become trapped in destructive patterns, unable to break free from the very dynamics that harm them.

Groveville Taste lyrics, toxic relationship, betrayal and mistrust, emotional ruin, codependency, raw and explicit language, love and lust, relationship dynamics, dark journey, disillusionment, destructive patterns, M. A. Istvan Jr., hip-hop storytelling, gritty narrative, relationship turmoil.

Read More
Niagara Falls
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Niagara Falls

In this poem, M. A. Istvan Jr. navigates the unsettling terrain of suspicion, moral uncertainty, and the tension between perception and reality. The poem unfolds as a tense narrative, where the speaker and their companion observe what they believe to be a potential predator trailing two young girls at Niagara Falls. The language, punctuated by phrases like "g*ope their breasts" and "reach up one of their dresses," evokes a visceral unease, capturing the intense scrutiny of the observers as they grapple with their own fears and judgments. The poem's setting—a public space like Niagara Falls, filled with tourists and cameras—heightens the irony of the situation, as the "creep" appears to be filming scenes already ubiquitous online, yet his actions are perceived as menacing and predatory.

The narrative tension is further amplified by the bystanders' internal conflict, where they question their own courage, wondering if they would have the "balls to do anything" if the situation escalated. Their hesitation is not just about physical confrontation but also about the moral implications of acting on assumptions. The poem captures this psychological struggle, where the fear of inaction is weighed against the fear of overreaction.

Istvan skillfully subverts expectations when the girl finally approaches the man. The bystanders, poised to intervene, are met with an anticlimax as the man simply hands the girl a coin for the binoculars. The reader is left to grapple with the ambiguity of the situation—was the man truly a threat, or were the observers projecting their anxieties onto an innocent scene? The image of "tight jeans we picture c*m crusted" reveals the extent to which the bystanders' imaginations have been tainted by their fears, turning a mundane interaction into something sinister.

The poem serves as a commentary on the ease with which suspicion can warp perception, leading to misjudgment and moral paralysis. Istvan leaves the reader with a sense of unease, not only about the characters within the poem but also about our own tendencies to jump to conclusions based on incomplete or biased information. "Niagara Falls" is a powerful exploration of the complexities of human judgment, the thin line between vigilance and paranoia, and the often-overlooked consequences of our assumptions.

M. A. Istvan Jr., Niagara Falls poem, moral uncertainty, human perception, vigilance vs. paranoia, predatory behavior, suspicion and reality, psychological tension, bystander effect, projection of fears, judgment and misjudgment, poetic exploration, complex human behavior.

Read More
Even on Dawns Less Spectacular
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Even on Dawns Less Spectacular

In "Even on Dawns Less Spectacular," M. A. Istvan Jr. presents a poignant, unflinching portrayal of the mundane struggles and indignities of daily life through the lens of a working-class man. The poem opens with a vivid image of the protagonist's disheveled state, evoking the exhaustion and disarray of pre-dawn rituals. The shuffling of bed slippers across a worn hardwood floor sets the tone for a morning routine marked by a palpable sense of weariness.

The protagonist’s head, "burrowed into blue-collar forearms," highlights his physical and emotional fatigue, while his "hypotenusal lean" against the toilet cabinet emphasizes the awkwardness and discomfort of his position. Istvan's attention to detail captures the raw authenticity of the scene, where the man's closed eyes signify a desperate attempt to cling to the remnants of sleep amidst the demands of waking life.

As the man rolls his hips, his careful movements betray the intimate, unglamorous reality of his bodily functions. The transition from "liquid on liquid sounds" to the silence that follows signifies the cessation of urination, a mundane act that the poem elevates to a moment of introspection. This act, though ordinary, is rendered with a delicate touch that underscores the protagonist's vulnerability.

The stubborn insistence on completing the flow, despite the body's natural resistance, symbolizes the man's broader struggle against the constraints of his existence. His dribble-stained path back to the bedroom carpet, a trail of daily drudgery, speaks to the relentlessness of his routine. The man’s return to bed, where he turns away from the brightening dawn, captures his resignation to the day ahead.

The saffron stains on the mattress, which "grow" even on less spectacular dawns, represent the physical traces of his struggle. These stains, blamed on his wife during their monthly end-for-end flipping of the mattress, reflect a deeper undercurrent of denial and displacement. The protagonist’s adamant refusal to accept responsibility for the stains, insisting that he "never pissed it," underscores his need to maintain some semblance of dignity and control in a life that often feels uncontrollable and degrading.

Istvan’s poem is a study in the interplay between the mundane and the profound, where everyday acts are imbued with existential weight. "Even on Dawns Less Spectacular" delves into themes of weariness, denial, and the relentless passage of time, offering a raw, empathetic glimpse into the life of a man navigating the quiet battles of daily existence.

M. A. Istvan Jr., Even on Dawns Less Spectacular, daily struggles, working-class life, mundane routines, existential reflections, bodily functions, weariness, denial, passage of time, raw authenticity, poetic portrayal, blue-collar forearms, morning rituals, intimate vulnerability.

Read More
Coke Lessons
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Coke Lessons

In "Coke Lessons," M. A. Istvan Jr. delves into the dichotomy of drug-induced euphoria and the subsequent disillusionment, reflecting on how initial ecstasy devolves into a cycle of craving and regret. The poem begins with the protagonist's memory of his first experience with cocaine, marked by an overwhelming sense of euphoria and philosophical expansiveness that seemed permanent and untainted by the inevitable comedown. This initial high is described as a "new dilation of ecstasy," a metaphor suggesting an opening up to new dimensions of feeling and thought, which at the time appeared immune to the passage of time or change.

Years later, the protagonist finds himself understanding his friend's earlier reservations during their shared experience. The friend, despite indulging in the drug, was already aware of the impending crash, a mixture of craving for more and a foretaste of the "grinding-bitter comedown." The protagonist now empathizes with this perspective, recognizing that the anticipation of the low diminishes the purity of the high, an awareness that he couldn't comprehend during his first encounter.

The poem shifts to a present moment where the protagonist, now a seasoned user, finds himself in the company of a newbie. The newbie's enthusiasm and naive confessions—ranging from incestuous thoughts to gay thoughts—during their drug-induced bonding reveal the raw vulnerability and disorientation that come with the first rush of cocaine. The protagonist feels a deep sense of unease, knowing the cycle of regret and self-disgust that awaits the newbie, evident in the hurried flipping of records mid-song and the unrestrained giving of gifts that will soon be regretted.

This unease grows as the night progresses into dawn, with the newbie making desperate phone calls to people from his past, illustrating the isolating and desperate nature of addiction. The protagonist feels trapped, sickened by the dependency on an unreliable euphoria that is "fake, unnatural." The questioning of this artificial ecstasy versus natural joy culminates in a profound moment of introspection. The protagonist wonders why the chemical-induced happiness should be considered any less real than the joy derived from significant life events, such as the birth of a child. This philosophical quandary underscores the poem's exploration of the nature of happiness and the human condition's susceptibility to both natural and artificial stimuli.

"Coke Lessons" is a powerful narrative that juxtaposes the fleeting euphoria of drug use with the lasting consequences of addiction. Through vivid imagery and reflective introspection, Istvan captures the tragic arc from initial thrill to inevitable despair, highlighting the complex interplay between temporary ecstasy and enduring regret.

M. A. Istvan Jr., Coke Lessons, cocaine addiction, euphoria, comedown, drug-induced ecstasy, addiction regret, philosophical reflection, fleeting happiness, enduring disillusionment, human condition, drug experience, vivid imagery, introspective poem, nature of happiness.

Read More
Istvan Verse on "Beacon Speaks"
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Istvan Verse on "Beacon Speaks"

In the poem "Beacon Speaks," M. A. Istvan Jr. and collaborators explore the enduring influence of Beacon, a city in New York's Hudson Valley, on its former residents. Through various voices and perspectives, the poem captures the complexities of identity, memory, and the struggle to rise above one's origins while still being inevitably shaped by them. The chorus sections emphasize the lasting impact of Beacon's culture and environment on those who have left, while the verses delve into personal experiences and the gritty realities of life in and around Beacon.

The poem opens with a chorus that sets the stage for the exploration of Beacon's influence, noting how even those who have "made it out on top" carry traces of their past: "bad teeth, self-doubt, slang, even our bop." This establishes a theme of inescapable heritage, where one's origins continue to speak through their current selves, often in ways that are subtly discernible to others.

Istvan's verse delves into the specific social dynamics and characters of Beacon, painting a vivid picture of life in the city. He describes the allure of "hoodrats" and the chaotic scenes of black preggos, acrylic-nail scratches, and blunt-rolling alley cats. This verse highlights the cyclical nature of life in Beacon, where even those who leave are drawn back to familiar environments and relationships, often fraught with dysfunction and struggle. The scene is raw, filled with blunt-rolling alley cats and Baby Phat-wearing women. The struggle is palpable—child support dodges, cracked 40 Miller drafts, and chaotic confrontations. These characters are deeply entrenched in a cycle that seems impossible to break, highlighting the relentless grip of their environment.

The second chorus shifts the focus to those who have given up certain vices but still carry emotional and psychological scars: "teary eyes, rage-outs, fear, even our cocks." This section underscores the pervasive sense of incompleteness and the lingering effects of past behaviors and experiences.

The third chorus extends the theme of being perceived as "off" by others due to past behaviors and associations, this time focusing on the physical and social markers that set former Beacon residents apart: "crooked grills, distrust, dress, even jump shots." The refrain reinforces the idea that the influence of one's origins is pervasive and recognizable, affecting how they are received in new environments.

The fourth chorus addresses those who have sought philosophical or spiritual insights, noting how even such pursuits are colored by their past: "drug abuse, con ways, stress, even our ox." This section suggests that no matter how far one moves intellectually or spiritually, the influence of one's background persists.

Overall, "Beacon Speaks" is a powerful exploration of the inescapable influence of one's origins. It captures the enduring mark of a place on its people, illustrating how past environments and experiences continue to shape identities and perceptions. Through vivid imagery and personal narratives, the poem delves into themes of identity, struggle, and the complex relationship between one's past and present.

M. A. Istvan Jr., Beacon Speaks, poem, identity, struggle, Beacon NY, addiction, personal narrative, cultural influence, memory, community, past and present, literary exploration, social dynamics, lyrical poetry, urban life, Hudson Valley.

Read More
Kennedy Fried Chicken
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Kennedy Fried Chicken

"Kennedy Fried Chicken" by Michael Anthony Istvan Jr. captures the intricate dance between survival and parenthood within an urban setting. The poem delves into the life of a corner dealer, a figure deeply entrenched in the city’s gritty reality. His attempt to maintain a semblance of normalcy and connection with his child is depicted against the backdrop of his illicit activities. The opening lines introduce us to the dealer, who, despite his circumstances, tries to assure himself of his presence in his child’s life. The mention of "his ex in her phone" suggests a fragmented relationship, emphasizing the isolation that often accompanies such a lifestyle. The act of lifting his child high and inquiring about his behavior is a fleeting attempt at normalcy, a brief moment of connection amidst the chaos.

Istvan’s use of vivid imagery paints a stark picture of the dealer’s world. The constant need for vigilance is highlighted by his sweeping gaze for cops among the "nonstop horns." This vigilance is not just a part of his professional life but also intrudes into his personal moments, creating a tension between his role as a father and his need for survival. The dealer’s eye constantly scanning for threats underscores the persistent danger in his environment, detracting from his ability to fully engage with his child.

The poem’s structure and enjambment emphasize the fragmentation of the dealer’s existence. Lines like "in that window / of lifting him high" illustrate the brief, transient nature of his interactions with his child. These moments are overshadowed by the external pressures that define his life. The presence of a client, "hands in jean pockets, edging closer," serves as a reminder of the inescapable demands of his trade, constantly intruding upon personal interactions.

Istvan’s portrayal of the urban environment is both vivid and oppressive. The "nonstop horns" create a backdrop of constant noise and activity, reflecting the relentless pace of the dealer’s life. This setting amplifies the tension between his desire to be a good father and the realities of his circumstances. The client’s approach, subtle yet inevitable, symbolizes the persistent encroachment of his illicit activities on his personal life.

In "Kennedy Fried Chicken," Istvan masterfully captures the duality of the dealer’s existence. His struggle to balance his illicit livelihood with his parental responsibilities is depicted with sensitivity and depth. The poem highlights the inherent conflict in trying to maintain personal connections while navigating a life fraught with danger and uncertainty. Through its concise yet powerful imagery, the poem offers a poignant reflection on the challenges of parenthood within the context of urban survival, underscoring the dealer’s perpetual state of alertness and the fleeting nature of his moments of connection with his child.

urban survival, fatherhood, corner dealer, illicit activities, parenthood challenges, urban environment, constant vigilance, fleeting moments, personal connection, external pressures, gritty reality, Michael Anthony Istvan Jr., poetry, vivid imagery, urban life, dealer’s dual existence, parental responsibilities, urban setting, tension, survival, parental connection.

Read More
Rainbow Flags
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Rainbow Flags

"Rainbow Flags" is a compact yet evocative poem that juxtaposes the sinister with the celebratory, creating a striking commentary on contemporary culture and identity. Through vivid imagery and unexpected associations, the poem explores themes of transformation, subversion, and the influence of substances on self-expression.

The poem opens with a provocative comparison between Pazuzu, a demon from ancient Mesopotamian mythology often associated with possession and chaos, and Crystal Meth, a powerful and destructive drug. This pairing sets the tone for the rest of the poem, suggesting a descent into altered states of being. The line "Pazuzu will have you / speaking Latin" evokes the idea of possession, as Latin is traditionally associated with exorcisms and the Catholic Church. It hints at an unsettling transformation, where the self is overtaken by an external force.

In contrast, Crystal Meth's influence is depicted through the imagery of a crop-top tank top and vibrant self-expression. The tank top, described as "purple," semaphores "drum-and-bass pulses," alluding to the energetic and often frenetic atmosphere of dance and rave cultures. This imagery captures the drug's effect on individuals, heightening their senses and altering their behaviors in ways that are both liberating and destructive.

The poem's setting shifts to a main strip leading to a university, a place typically associated with learning and intellectual growth. However, the presence of "horns dopplering" suggests a chaotic and perhaps celebratory environment, reminiscent of a parade or a festival. This contrasts with the traditional academic setting, highlighting a clash between conventional norms and subversive forms of expression.

The final lines introduce a striking image of "cheilitis lips" holding a "steel referee whistle." Cheilitis, an inflammation of the lips often caused by environmental factors or substance abuse, adds a layer of physical consequence to the poem's themes. The steel referee whistle, an object of authority and control, ironically in the possession of someone in a state of altered consciousness, underscores the poem's exploration of power dynamics and the unexpected ways in which they manifest.

"Rainbow Flags" uses its compact form to pack a powerful punch, blending elements of the sinister and the celebratory to comment on contemporary issues of identity, self-expression, and the transformative effects of substances. The poem's vivid and often jarring imagery invites readers to reflect on the complexities of these themes, leaving a lasting impression with its sharp contrasts and rich symbolism.

Read More
Foster Home at Five
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Foster Home at Five

"Foster Home at Five" is a deeply moving narrative that delves into the traumatic and transformative experience of a young child placed in foster care during a tumultuous period of parental conflict. The story is recounted with vivid, sensory detail, capturing the confusion, fear, and resilience of a five-year-old boy navigating an incomprehensible situation. Through the child's eyes, we see a world that is both mundane and surreal, where everyday objects and interactions take on heightened significance against the backdrop of familial disruption.

The narrative begins with the child's attempt to stay awake at his grandmother's kitchen table, a symbolic representation of his struggle to remain grounded amid the chaos of his parents' custody battle. The rainy gray outside mirrors the internal turmoil of the child's life, characterized by yelling, crying, and the instability of moving between different homes and environments. This setting establishes a tone of disorientation and helplessness that permeates the story.

The father's unexpected appearance in a suit, a departure from his usual attire, adds to the child's sense of unreality. The father's emotional vulnerability, expressed through his tearful eyes and the tender gesture of carrying the child to the couch, contrasts sharply with the cold, procedural nature of the foster care system that soon intervenes. The father's promise to get the child back "soon" underscores a sense of urgency and desperation, highlighting the father's impotence in the face of legal decisions.

As the child is taken away by the social worker, the narrative shifts to the sensory and emotional experiences of the journey. The social worker's attempt to engage the child with offers of McDonald's serves as a stark juxtaposition to the child's inner turmoil. The child's refusal to eat reflects his emotional withdrawal and guardedness, a coping mechanism that resurfaces later in his interactions with a family violence counselor. This guardedness is a recurring theme, suggesting a long-standing pattern of self-protection in response to trauma.

The description of the foster home, with its lively atmosphere and numerous children, provides a brief respite from the child's anxiety. The interactions with other children, particularly the empathetic gesture of the little black boy offering his corndog, highlight moments of human connection and kindness amid the broader context of displacement and uncertainty. These interactions also underscore the child's sense of isolation, as he struggles to engage with his new environment while grappling with the loss of his family.

The narrative's most poignant moments occur during the child's visits to city hall, where he reunites briefly with his parents. These visits are marked by a profound sense of transience and impermanence, as the child clings to familiar objects like his teddy bear and absorbs the emotional atmosphere of the brief encounters. The child's internalization of these visits, coupled with his eventual acclimation to the foster home, illustrates the adaptive resilience of children even in the face of profound instability.

The climactic moment of the story occurs when the child, mistaken in his belief that he has been forgotten, chases after the foster family's van in a panic. This scene encapsulates the child's deep-seated fear of abandonment and his desperate need for reassurance. The foster father's calm explanation that they were merely going to the supermarket provides a moment of relief, but it also underscores the persistent anxiety that shadows the child's experience.

The narrative concludes with the child's return home, marked by a mixture of joy and lingering apprehension. The child's game of blinking to "cut" power lines with the car's antennae symbolizes his attempt to exert control over an unpredictable world. The final interaction with the social worker and the crying black girl serves as a poignant reminder of the shared suffering and resilience of children within the foster care system. The child's unspoken urge to console the girl reflects his emerging empathy, tempered by the realization that her journey may not mirror his own.

"Foster Home at Five" is a powerful exploration of childhood trauma, resilience, and the complexities of the foster care system. The narrative's rich sensory detail and emotional depth provide a compelling window into the child's inner world, revealing the enduring impact of early experiences on one's sense of self and belonging. Through the child's perspective, the story captures the vulnerability and strength of those navigating the uncertain terrain of familial disruption and institutional care.

Read More
Father and Son
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Father and Son

"Father and Son" poignantly captures the cyclical nature of parental anxiety and the ways in which it manifests across generations. The poem begins with a personal anecdote from the speaker's childhood, set during Halloween—a time typically associated with joy and indulgence. However, for the young narrator, it becomes an occasion of fear and meticulous scrutiny. Haunted by the thought of malicious adults inserting razorblades and poison into Halloween treats, the child meticulously examines and discards most of his candy. This act of self-protection, driven by media-fueled fears, highlights the vulnerability and paranoia that can overshadow childhood innocence.

The narrative then shifts to the present, where the speaker's own son exhibits a similar, albeit different, form of anxiety. The son's fear revolves around the school environment and the potential punishment of having the lights turned off during lunch if the students are too noisy. This punishment, although seemingly minor compared to the life-threatening dangers imagined by the speaker as a child, is significant in the child's mind. The son's earnest plea to avoid packing crunchy celery, which might provoke the teacher's rebuke, mirrors the father's own childhood vigilance.

Through the juxtaposition of these two scenarios, the poem explores the theme of inherited fears and the protective instincts that parents pass down to their children. The reference to the Halloween memory arising at the son's anxious request underscores the connection between past and present, suggesting that the speaker's early experiences of fear and caution have influenced his understanding of his son's worries.

The poem also subtly critiques the ways in which societal and environmental factors shape children's anxieties. The son's concern about the teacher's reaction points to a broader commentary on disciplinary practices in schools and the pressures placed on children to conform to behavioral expectations. This modern-day anxiety, although different in nature from the speaker's Halloween fear, reflects the ongoing struggle to navigate and manage perceived threats in everyday life.

"Father and Son" uses these personal experiences to illustrate the continuity of anxiety and the protective measures that both parents and children employ. The careful inspection of Halloween candy and the avoidance of crunchy snacks in lunchboxes serve as metaphors for the broader efforts to shield oneself from harm. The poem invites readers to reflect on their own childhood fears and the ways in which they may have been influenced by their parents' concerns, as well as how they, in turn, address the anxieties of the next generation.

Ultimately, the poem underscores the bond between parent and child through shared experiences of fear and caution. It suggests that while the specific nature of these anxieties may change over time, the underlying desire to protect and ensure safety remains a constant, connecting generations through the simple yet profound act of caring for one another.

Read More
Daily Affirmations for a Campus Warrior
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Daily Affirmations for a Campus Warrior

In "Daily Affirmations for a Campus Warrior," the author presents a satirical take on contemporary campus culture, particularly focusing on the extreme sensitivity and self-righteousness perceived among some student activists. The poem, dedicated to Margaret Atwood, critiques the modern phenomena of trigger warnings, safe spaces, and the cancel culture prevalent in academic environments.

The poem is structured as a series of affirmations, which are typically used to reinforce positive thinking and self-worth. However, in this context, the affirmations are exaggerated to highlight what the author sees as the absurdity of certain attitudes. Each line is a statement that mocks the extremes of victim mentality and the entitlement to absolute emotional protection and moral authority.

The opening lines, "Anything can be a trigger / I stand up for myself and have a right to be recognized," set the tone for the poem. These lines reflect the idea that the current campus environment allows for an overly broad interpretation of what constitutes a trigger, granting individuals the power to demand recognition and accommodation for any perceived slight or discomfort.

As the poem progresses, the affirmations become increasingly hyperbolic, reflecting the author's view that the demands for emotional safety and recognition have gone too far. Lines such as "My virtue, as a victim, gives me absolute moral license" and "Worthy, I am entitled to shout down what is alien to me" critique the notion that victimhood confers moral superiority and the right to silence dissenting voices.

The poem also addresses the culture of canceling and censoring ideas that are deemed offensive. Lines like "I am allowed to censor art and people if it makes me feel better" and "Ban problematic 'art' before examination; it only gives us pain" suggest that the drive to protect students from discomfort has led to a stifling of free expression and critical engagement.

In addition to the critique of cancel culture, the poem mocks the idea that emotional fragility should be indulged rather than worked on. Lines such as "Emotional fragility is to be indulged, not 'worked on'" and "Meltdowns are okay to get what I want: they mean I deserve it" highlight the author's belief that the emphasis on emotional safety can hinder personal growth and resilience.

The poem's conclusion, "Triggering equals raping; raping calls for instant cancellation / Emotional fragility is to be indulged, not 'worked on,'" encapsulates the satirical message. The comparison between triggering and rape is an extreme exaggeration meant to underscore the perceived irrationality of equating emotional discomfort with severe trauma. It also criticizes the tendency to immediately cancel individuals without due process based on subjective feelings of offense.

Overall, "Daily Affirmations for a Campus Warrior" uses satire to critique what the author views as the excesses of modern campus culture. By presenting these exaggerated affirmations, the poem calls into question the balance between protecting individuals from genuine harm and fostering an environment of robust intellectual engagement and personal growth. Through its biting humor and pointed commentary, the poem challenges readers to reconsider the implications of prioritizing emotional comfort over the pursuit of truth and resilience.

Read More
Italian Way?
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Italian Way?

"Italian Way?" explores the nuanced and often misunderstood cultural differences in social interactions, particularly focusing on the affectionate behavior of Italians and the discomfort it can cause for someone from a more reserved culture like the United States. The poem examines these interactions through the lens of the narrator's personal experiences, highlighting the tension between cultural norms and individual perceptions.

The opening lines, "Everyone says, 'It’s not / that they’re fags. Italians / just tend to get real close, / in your face when speaking,'" immediately set up the central theme of cultural misunderstanding. The use of the derogatory term "fags" underscores the narrator's discomfort and the casual homophobia that can color interpretations of affectionate behavior. This phrase captures a common stereotype about Italian men, reflecting the narrator's internal conflict and the societal prejudices they carry.

The line "But there must be some link" hints at the narrator's suspicion and inability to fully accept the cultural explanation provided. This skepticism drives the narrative forward, as the narrator recounts their experiences with Italian friends who "snuggle up, / nudging to ass-dick me." The crude imagery here accentuates the narrator's discomfort and the perceived invasion of personal space, a stark contrast to the Italian way of expressing friendship.

The whispered reassurance, "USA. We friends, no?" adds a layer of complexity to the narrative. It suggests that the Italians are aware of the cultural differences and are trying to bridge the gap with a simple, friendly affirmation. This phrase also highlights the narrator's struggle to reconcile their own cultural norms with the affectionate behavior they encounter.

The involvement of the Italian mothers further complicates the narrative. The mother’s insistence that the narrator not sleep on the floor, coupled with her cheerful inquiry, "Young men have much good night?" suggests a cultural expectation of closeness and hospitality. The mother’s potential wink, while the father's head is buried in the newspaper, adds a subtle undercurrent of complicity and perhaps a gentle acknowledgment of the narrator's discomfort.

The narrator's failure to "attend close / enough to see for sure" speaks to their ongoing confusion and inability to fully understand or accept the nuances of Italian social norms. This line suggests a deliberate distance or avoidance, a way of coping with the discomfort and ambiguity of the situation.

Overall, "Italian Way?" uses vivid, sometimes uncomfortable imagery to explore the clash of cultural norms. The narrator's experiences highlight the tension between personal space and affectionate behavior, questioning the boundaries of friendship and hospitality. The poem encapsulates the complexities of cross-cultural interactions, where well-meaning actions can be misinterpreted through the lens of prejudice and discomfort.

The poem’s strength lies in its ability to capture the subtleties of these interactions, leaving the reader to ponder the balance between cultural acceptance and personal boundaries. Through the narrator's eyes, we see the challenges of navigating a world where social norms are fluid and often contradictory, ultimately questioning how we can bridge these gaps with understanding and respect.

Read More
Black Girl Dreams in 2021
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Black Girl Dreams in 2021

"Black Girl Dreams in 2021" delves into the intersection of personal and collective anxieties through the lens of a young girl's dream, bridging the intimate and the public. The poem captures the disorienting blend of waking and dreaming states, using a coughing fit as the catalyst for an abrupt shift in consciousness. This poem is not just about the experience of a singular night, but rather an exploration of the broader socio-political landscape that infiltrates even the most private moments of rest.

The opening lines, "Her coughing fit startled me up / once again. I groaned the pillow / around my head," immediately set a tone of disturbance and discomfort. The coughing fit, a recurring disturbance, serves as a metaphor for the persistent interruptions and unrest in the lives of marginalized individuals. The speaker's reaction—groaning into the pillow—suggests a desire to escape or muffle the external chaos, a common response to overwhelming stress or anxiety.

The transition from the physical disturbance to the auditory hallucination of a "tense whisper" blurs the line between reality and dream. This shift signifies how deeply ingrained societal issues permeate the subconscious. The whisper, "rapid and as if to someone at her side," evokes a sense of urgency and secrecy, hinting at a clandestine or suppressed conversation that must be addressed despite the risk of being overheard.

The escalation of the girl's whisper to a public address, "Her decibel and cadence perked / to public address. 'Americans. / May I have your attention?'" signifies a pivotal moment of transformation from private anxiety to public declaration. This shift reflects the internalization of societal pressures and the compulsion to speak out against systemic injustices. The use of "Americans" as the addressee broadens the scope of the poem, implicating the entire nation in the shared responsibility and awareness of these issues.

By placing the phrase "May I have your attention?" at the climax, the poem underscores the urgency for recognition and action. This plea for attention echoes the real-world demands for social justice, equity, and acknowledgment of the struggles faced by Black individuals, particularly women, in contemporary society. The girl's dream becomes a microcosm of the larger societal demand for visibility and change.

The poem's concise structure and vivid imagery create a powerful narrative that resonates with the reader on multiple levels. On one hand, it portrays a personal experience of unrest and disruption; on the other, it encapsulates the broader socio-political climate of 2021, marked by calls for racial justice and equity. The dream, situated within the context of a coughing fit, symbolizes the pervasive and inescapable nature of these societal issues, suggesting that they infiltrate even the most private and vulnerable moments.

Moreover, the poem's ambiguity regarding the exact content of the dream leaves space for interpretation and reflection. This openness invites readers to project their own understandings of the socio-political context into the narrative, making the poem a participatory experience. It encourages readers to consider their own roles and responsibilities within the larger societal framework, particularly in relation to issues of race and justice.

"Black Girl Dreams in 2021" is a poignant exploration of the intersection between personal and collective consciousness, using the motif of a dream to highlight the pervasive and inescapable nature of societal issues. Through its vivid imagery and concise narrative, the poem captures the urgency and necessity of addressing these issues, both on an individual and collective level. It stands as a powerful reminder of the ongoing struggle for justice and the importance of giving voice to those who are often silenced or overlooked.

Read More
Foreplayed by the R&amp;B Talkdown
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Foreplayed by the R&B Talkdown

"Foreplayed by the R&B Talk Down" is a poem that meticulously mimics the format and style of an R&B monologue, often characterized by a smooth-talking, repetitive cadence filled with emotional platitudes. However, upon closer examination, it becomes evident that the poem serves as a satirical critique of this genre, exposing the emptiness and superficiality often found in such monologues. The dedication to the poet's father adds a layer of irony, suggesting a generational commentary on the acceptance and perpetuation of these hollow expressions of emotion.

The opening lines, "Look here, baby gurl—fine thang. / I saw ya the other day and—," immediately set the stage for what appears to be a heartfelt and intimate conversation. However, the casual and clichéd language, such as "baby gurl" and "fine thang," quickly reveals the superficial nature of the speaker's declarations. The ellipses and pauses mimic the flow of spoken word, but instead of adding depth, they highlight the lack of substance and the performative aspect of the dialogue.

Throughout the poem, the speaker's attempts at expressing genuine emotion are undermined by the repetitive and formulaic nature of their words. Phrases like "these feelin’s are real: genu-wine" and "please believe me when I say" come across as insincere and contrived, suggesting that the speaker is more interested in the performance of affection than in conveying true feelings. This tension between the appearance of sincerity and the underlying emptiness is a central theme of the poem, critiquing the genre's reliance on style over substance.

The middle section, "You’re everythang, everythang I do. / See, promises—they come and go. / And gurl, trust me when I say," underscores the hollowness of the speaker's declarations. The repetition of "everythang" and the vague references to promises and trust fail to convey any real sense of commitment or emotion. Instead, they highlight the speaker's reliance on generic phrases and empty reassurances, reinforcing the poem's critique of the superficiality inherent in many R&B monologues.

As the poem progresses, the speaker's words become increasingly vapid and disjointed. Lines like "Right there, right there in those eyes. / We’ve come so so far and—think. / Think back wit’ me baby, you’ll see" lack coherence and depth, further emphasizing the emptiness of the speaker's rhetoric. The poem's repetitive structure and shallow language serve to mock the genre's tendency to prioritize form over content, highlighting the disconnect between the speaker's words and any genuine emotional expression.

The poem’s closing lines, "Just one thought, one’s all it takes. / I know ya hear me gurl. Yeah. / I know ya understand," encapsulate the speaker's vacuousness. The insistence that "one thought" is sufficient to convey deep emotion is a final ironic twist, underscoring the superficiality of the entire monologue. The repetition of "I know ya" and the final "Yeah. / I know ya understand" ring hollow, leaving the reader with a sense of the speaker's profound emptiness.

The dedication to the poet's father adds an additional layer of irony and complexity to the poem. It suggests a generational reflection on the acceptance and perpetuation of these shallow expressions of emotion, perhaps critiquing a cultural lineage that values performance over genuine connection. This dedication transforms the poem from a simple parody into a more profound commentary on the ways in which superficial emotional expressions are passed down and normalized.

"Foreplayed by the R&B Talk Down" is a satirical and incisive critique of the R&B monologue genre, exposing the superficiality and emptiness often masked by its smooth-talking, repetitive cadence. Through its careful mimicry and ironic dedication, the poem highlights the disconnect between appearance and reality, critiquing a cultural form that prioritizes style over substance. The poem serves as a reflection on the ways in which empty expressions of emotion are perpetuated and accepted, challenging the reader to look beyond the surface and seek deeper, more genuine connections.

Read More
A Middle-School Situation
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

A Middle-School Situation

"A Middle-School Situation" captures the turbulent, awkward, and often humiliating experiences of adolescence through a detailed and visceral recounting of a specific incident. The poem is divided into four distinct sections, each contributing to the development of the central themes: the pressure to conform, the impact of socioeconomic status on self-esteem, the acute self-consciousness of adolescence, and the harsh realities of social dynamics in middle school.

The poem begins by setting the stage with the physical and emotional landscape of seventh grade. This is a period characterized by foreign odors—sweat, cum, and cologne—and the growth of acne and insecurity, highlighting the physical changes and hormonal upheavals typical of early adolescence. The inherent desire to be attractive and accepted is underscored by the social pressures faced by young adolescents. The protagonist’s father buys him the latest Jordans—two sizes too big and conspicuously bootleg—from a corner spot in Beacon. The father’s pragmatic approach, dismissing the dunking logo’s flaws with a casual “Who’s gonna get that fuckin’ close?” contrasts with the protagonist's acute awareness of potential scrutiny. This sets up the central conflict between the appearance of fitting in and the reality of socioeconomic limitations.

The second section details the protagonist’s arrival at school and the slow, horrifying realization that he has stepped in dog feces. This section is rich with sensory imagery, as the dual nature of the smell—shitty yet somehow perfumed—represents the conflicting realities of adolescence. The protagonist’s hyper-awareness and paranoia about being discovered illustrate the acute self-consciousness and fear of embarrassment common in middle school. His attempts to identify the source of the smell through covert actions, such as a muscleman yawn and stretching forward, add a layer of humor while emphasizing his desperation to avoid detection. The repeated actions of scraping his shoe on the desk’s book storage compartment symbolize the persistent and often futile efforts to erase visible signs of one’s perceived failures or inadequacies. The protagonist’s pretense of being engaged in the lecture while dealing with the crisis beneath the desk underscores the duality of his experience—outwardly maintaining a façade while internally panicking. The reliance on "stealth fantasies" to cope with embarrassment reflects the psychological mechanisms children use to handle overwhelming social anxiety.

The third section explores the social repercussions of the incident. The protagonist attempts to rationalize the lack of immediate confrontation, highlighting the cognitive dissonance that often accompanies social mishaps. The broader impact of the incident is revealed when the entire class has to be evacuated due to the smell, leading to inevitable but unspoken blame on the protagonist. The poem concludes on a poignant note, emphasizing the protagonist's relief mingled with lingering anxiety as the teacher and classmates avoid directly addressing the incident.

The poem's themes revolve around the pressure to conform, self-consciousness and anxiety, socioeconomic disparities, and social dynamics and bullying. The protagonist's efforts to fit in with his peers through material possessions, despite economic constraints, underscore the universal adolescent struggle for social acceptance. The detailed recounting of the protagonist's inner turmoil and outward actions encapsulates the intense self-awareness and fear of humiliation that characterize middle school experiences. The bootleg Jordans and inverted Hilfiger tee symbolize the broader theme of socioeconomic disparities and their impact on self-esteem and social interactions among adolescents. The poem subtly addresses the complex social dynamics of middle school, where perceived weaknesses can make one a target, yet sometimes incidents pass without direct confrontation, leaving lasting psychological scars.

"A Middle-School Situation" is a vivid and empathetic exploration of adolescence. Through its rich sensory detail, humor, and psychological depth, the poem captures the often painful and awkward journey of growing up, highlighting themes of conformity, self-consciousness, and the impact of socioeconomic status on social experiences. The narrative’s authenticity and relatability make it a poignant reflection on the universal trials of navigating middle school.

Read More
Ideomotor
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Ideomotor

"Ideomotor," a compact and evocative poem, delves into themes of communication, autonomy, and the human desire for connection despite severe physical limitations. Through the portrayal of two individuals with significant physical and cognitive impairments, the poem explores the intersection of the body and mind, as well as the role of facilitators in bridging gaps that seem insurmountable.

The poem opens with a striking image: "Two palsied underbites in diapers, / said to have minds of infants." This description immediately sets the tone, highlighting the severe physical disabilities of the subjects. The use of "palsied underbites" and "diapers" evokes a sense of vulnerability and dependence, while "said to have minds of infants" suggests that their cognitive abilities are perceived as extremely limited. This introduction serves to underscore the significant challenges faced by the individuals in question.

The second line, "flirt / on a first date through a facilitator," introduces a layer of unexpected complexity and tenderness. The notion of flirting, typically associated with light-hearted and voluntary interaction, is juxtaposed against the severe disabilities of the individuals. The inclusion of a "facilitator" indicates that their interaction is not entirely self-directed but mediated through an intermediary. This raises questions about autonomy and the nature of their communication. Is their flirting genuine, or is it influenced by the facilitator's guidance?

The poem's middle lines, "Bracing their wrists, she guides / their hands, like Ouija planchettes," employ a vivid simile to convey the process of facilitated communication. The comparison to "Ouija planchettes" is particularly poignant. Just as a planchette moves across a Ouija board seemingly under the influence of an unseen force, the facilitator's hands guide the individuals' hands to form words. This simile evokes the ideomotor effect, a psychological phenomenon wherein a person makes motions unconsciously. The choice of this comparison invites readers to ponder the authenticity and origin of the communication. Are the words truly coming from the individuals, or are they being influenced, consciously or unconsciously, by the facilitator?

The final line, "to letters on the table before them," grounds the poem in a specific action: the process of spelling out words. This image emphasizes the painstaking nature of their interaction, where each letter represents a significant effort. It also highlights the fundamental human drive to communicate and connect, even when faced with profound obstacles.

The poem raises essential questions about the nature of communication for individuals with severe disabilities. It challenges readers to consider the authenticity of facilitated communication and the extent to which these individuals can express their thoughts and emotions independently.

Despite their limitations, the subjects of the poem engage in an inherently human activity: flirting on a first date. This interaction underscores the universal desire for connection, love, and companionship, which persists even in the face of significant barriers.

The facilitator's role is crucial in the poem, acting as a bridge between the individuals and the world around them. This role, however, is fraught with ethical considerations. The facilitator's influence over the communication process raises questions about agency and the potential for misinterpretation or projection.

The poem's comparison to Ouija planchettes invokes the ideomotor effect, prompting readers to reflect on the unconscious influences that might shape communication. This metaphor adds a layer of complexity, suggesting that the boundary between genuine expression and facilitated input is not always clear.

"Ideomotor" is a thought-provoking and layered poem that delves into the complexities of communication and human connection for individuals with severe disabilities. Through its vivid imagery and poignant simile, the poem invites readers to question the nature of facilitated communication and the extent to which autonomy can be maintained in such interactions. It highlights the enduring human desire for connection and the significant role of facilitators in enabling communication, all while raising important ethical and philosophical questions. The poem's brevity belies its depth, offering a rich terrain for reflection on the intersections of body, mind, and communication.

Read More
An Open Letter to Literary Magazines
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

An Open Letter to Literary Magazines

In "An Open Letter to Literary Magazines," the author confronts the contemporary literary landscape, specifically targeting the perceived decline of transgressive writing within reputable and even obscure venues. The piece grapples with the infiltration of politically correct agendas, which aim to sanitize content in the name of creating "safe spaces." This trend, the author argues, has seeped into institutions that were once bastions of intellectual rigor and boundary-pushing discourse, such as comedy clubs, literary magazines, and universities.

The letter opens with a broad condemnation of the current state of literary venues, highlighting a pervasive "HR agenda" that seeks to shield audiences from unsettling content. The author decries this trend as "mediocritizing" and suggests it stifles growth by limiting exposure to challenging ideas. The language used—"niqab reality," "metastasized," and "trigger-minimal"—conveys a sense of suffocation and stagnation. This imagery underscores the perceived loss of authenticity and depth in contemporary literary and academic environments.

Central to the argument is the notion that the right to remain unchallenged has gained undue prominence. This sentiment is portrayed as having spread virally from academic campuses to social media and beyond, infecting even "innocent countries." The letter criticizes the practice of allowing students to opt-out of readings deemed too triggering, positing that this undermines the educational mission of universities. The hyperbolic example of a professor fired for teaching the Chinese word for "um" illustrates the extremes to which this protective impulse can lead, suggesting a stifling environment where even benign content is censored.

The author contends that the concept of "transgressive literature" has been co-opted and diluted by what is, paradoxically, an anti-transgressive agenda. Instead of fostering genuine boundary-pushing content, literary magazines are accused of promoting works that align with a new orthodoxy—what the author derisively terms "militant HR-memos." These works, while superficially bold, ultimately serve to reinforce prevailing ideological norms rather than challenge them. The satirical tone and use of phrases like "militant HR-memos" and "fidelity to orthodoxy" highlight the perceived absurdity of this shift.

Further, the letter critiques the expanding list of what is deemed "problematic," arguing that this trend leads to the exclusion of authentic expressions of human experience. The mention of "trans character that gets murdered," "animal abuse," and "cuisine nonnative to the author" as examples of censored content underscores the perceived overreach of these policies. The author laments the loss of a space where writers can "voice the deepest nuances of our humanity in the nude," free from the "ever-expanding and ever-thickening filters of social media."

In calling for a revival of truly transgressive writing, the author invokes the legacy of figures like Bataille, whose work epitomizes the outsider, subversive, and unspeakable. The rhetorical question at the end—"Is not the right wing, embolismed by children’s books of crossdressing kids, supposed to be the wing that bans art?"—serves to highlight the irony of the left-leaning literary establishment engaging in censorship. This inversion of expectations underscores the essay's central thesis: that the guardians of liberal, progressive values have become the new censors, undermining the very principles they claim to uphold.

"An Open Letter to Literary Magazines" is a passionate and provocative critique of contemporary literary culture. The author challenges the current norms that prioritize emotional safety over intellectual rigor and artistic freedom. Through a blend of satire, hyperbole, and earnest critique, the letter calls for a return to a more robust, challenging, and genuinely transgressive literary environment. The piece serves as a rallying cry for those who believe in the transformative power of unsettling art and the necessity of preserving spaces where the full spectrum of human experience can be explored without fear of censorship.

Read More
Princess Imprints
Michael Anthony Istvan Junior Michael Anthony Istvan Junior

Princess Imprints

"Princess Imprints" is a unique business venture offering custom-tailored, worn garments designed to cater to individual sensory desires. The company emphasizes the uniqueness of each piece, providing a range of sources and personalization options to satisfy varied tastes. Customers can choose from everyday items to more exotic garments, each promising a distinct scent and feel that enhances the sensory experience.

Privacy is a top priority for Princess Imprints, with discreet packaging ensuring that all purchases remain confidential. To further personalize the experience, the company offers extras such as Polaroid photos and handwritten notes, adding a touch of intimacy and connection to each order.

The community surrounding Princess Imprints values quality, nostalgia, and sensual connections, creating a sense of belonging for those who share these interests. Every purchase from Princess Imprints is more than just an acquisition; it's a journey into the essence of personal touch and hidden desires, offering customers an intimate and unique experience that goes beyond the ordinary.

Read More

blog

FAQ

Visit my Substack: Hive Being

Visit my Substack: Hive Being


Don’t let anyone tell you that real life is lacking in poetic interest. This is exactly what the poet is for: he has the mind and the imagination to find something of interest in everyday things. Real life supplies the motifs, the points that need to be said—the actual heart of the matter; but it is the poet’s job to fashion it all into a beautiful, animated whole. You are familiar with Fürnstein, the so-called “nature poet”? He has written a poem about growing hops, and you couldn’t imagine anything nicer. I have now asked him to write some poems celebrating the work of skilled artisans, in particular weavers, and I am quite sure he will succeed; he has lived among such people from an early age, he knows the subject inside out, and will be in full command of his material. That is the advantage of small works: you need only choose subjects that you know and have at your command. With a longer poetic work, however, this is not possible. There is no way around it: all the different threads that tie the whole thing together, and are woven into the design, have to be shown in accurate detail. Young people only have a one-sided view of things, whereas a longer work requires a multiplicity of viewpoints—and that’s where they come unstuck.—Goethe (Conversations with Eckermann)


Featured Blog Posts

in how many dreams might you
have appeared last night—
all those met along the way?