to Hive being
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What is Hive Being, and Why the Name?
You have likely heard talk of a hive mind, where one global mind finds more or less figurative expression in various local minds. Such talk is common enough in nature documentaries, especially ones concerning ants or bees, and in sci-fi programs. Take that notion, at least a loose version of it, and broaden its scope. That will be a decent first step in understanding the title I have chosen both for my Blog and for the first five-volume installment of my magnum opus Made For You and Me, a fragmentary collection of minimalist stanzas from 2016 to 2020.
In alignment with Spinoza (the 17th Century Rationalist to whom I devoted my doctoral studies), I view reality in its totality as a grand hive Being: all entities are but pulsating manifestations of the buckstopping fount of everything, an ultimate being we might call “God” or “Nature” (so long as, out of respect for the capital “G” and the capital “N,” we limit it neither to some anthropomorphic cloud father hurling lightning bolts nor to mere wilderness untouched by human smog). According to the hive-Being view (where reality is one lone superorganism, a monistic—and we might even say unividualist—conception I defend in both my creative and academic capacities), each non-foundational being (each being, that is, whose essence does not involve existence) is an utterly necessitated expression or eruption or exudation of this eternal source—each is, perhaps better put, a mode or manner of being, and so a focal point through which is disclosed, what classical theists sometimes call “being itself” (ipsum esse subsistens): the realness of the real, the being of whatever may be, the sheer activity of being, the very isness of whatever is. This Blog, which duplicates my Substack, throbs as but one among many literary unfurlings of this self-necessitated foundation, this supreme wellspring, of which we—like black holes and broken beliefs, like fractal ferns and flickering flames—are the inevitable stylings.
My Journey
I am an academic who found himself pressured into early retirement by the rising tides of cancel culture. The illiberal scourge of censoring, silencing, and shaming—although always with us throughout our evolution—reached a local peak around 2021. That was the turbulent year my creative pursuits, which the old left once encouraged as a healthy outlet for the stresses of a childhood steeped in poverty and illiteracy, drew the ire of the new safe-space left. A small cadre of self-proclaimed victims and their allies, several of whom continue to berate me years later under pseudonyms as see through as their sexual infatuation, sought to erase me and my heterodoxy. They found support from a wannabe-woke dean, covered in the grand inquisitor robes of our decadent modernity (full-body tattoos) and just itching to signal his commitment to protecting “vulnerable populations” from triggering material (even if just, as it was in my case, off-duty poems “unbecoming for someone calling himself a teacher”). Although I eventually won my due-process case with the help of The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression, I slunk away from a college that turned its back on protecting freedom of expression and from an institution increasingly intolerant of intellectual diversity.
The wrecking ball to my too-comfy office in the windowless ivory tower came with a silver lining. From the ashes of my professional aspirations rose a phoenix of increased freedom to fulfill the literary calling I have pursued for decades. Reputation concerns never stopped me, even within academia’s sterile halls of conformity. Indeed, my unapologetic defiance, which has long baffled friends and family, no doubt chummed even safe waters—almost as if I were asking for it all along—until the cancel shiver grew too frenzied to hold back its blind thrashings. But now, now I piston the most forbidden territories of human thought with no longer even a twinge of conscience. The newfound freedom means extra time to hone my craft. When not assisting special-needs communities (a day job far more rewarding than freeway-flyer drudgeries), I pursue my literary mission with Dionysian fervor.
Call for Co-Conspirators
This space, my digital sanctuary, showcases the fruits of my mission. Think of my posts, even those linking to my publications, as works in progress. I want your input, unflinching brutality included. Each post begins with an invitation to action: “Let’s workshop this [draft about x, y, z].” Your contributions, whether through public comments or my contact page, help hammer scraps of ore into polished blades fit for magazine publication.
Your input is valuable, even if you are neither a writer nor a reader of literature—twin disciplines dying by the cyber nanosecond. Sometimes—even if at the risk of uttering banalities—an outsider’s fresh vantage can pierce the veils of convention to reveal what insiders miss. It often takes an outsider to make us even think to question our ingrained presuppositions and attitudes. I stand by the hygienic value of contagion. That is one reason I advocate so strongly for intellectual diversity and freedom of expression. And that is also one reason I was so harrowed by the anti-diversity swell of cancel culture in academia (an institution that should be the utmost caretaker of such values)—harrowed especially insofar as that swell masqueraded under the gaslighting guise of “diversity”).
You will witness the breathing evolution of my writings over time. To track these changes, I label each revision by round: “ROUND 2,” ROUND 3,” and so forth. Each piece undergoes continuous refinement based on your feedback and my own revisitations. Sometimes changes will mar the work. That is the risk of creative tinkering as a finite creature. I hope you will alert me to missteps. After many semesters of university writing workshops, one rule has impressed itself upon me: when someone senses a flaw, something almost always needs to change—even if, yes, the proposed solution misses the mark (which often it does). From a quick look into the archives, accessible here, you can see how much I have benefited from your feedback so far.
My Hope
Sharing drafts can be daunting. But showing you the ravaged and unperfumed real deal unfiltered by makeup (stuttering starts and falsities, awkward line breaks and clumsy word choices, grammatical errors and misspellings)—that not only makes my work more relatable, but helps me refine things through your input. I hope the unfiltered look at the raw process of fumbling, rather than just the polished product, also helps other writers develop their craft. Imperfect works often instruct more than perfect ones: whereas the perfect ones tend to have a grace by which they slip inside us without activating our scrutiny, the imperfect ones—especially the near perfect ones—show us glaringly what not to do.
People laugh at me, seeing—in my tilting at the windmills of literary excellence—a Don Quixote clunking around in Arthurian armor in a post-knight era. I am not naïve. I am well aware of the diminishing ability to read, let alone well: slowly and deeply, with gratitude. I am also aware that my style, which often nests subpoints within larger points, never waters down virtuosity for the sake of mass appeal. I watch readers stumble over my sentences, unable to unlock even just the music of the envelope let alone the semantic meat within, which—given my tendency to flashlight through the darker facets of human nature (the addicts, the miscreants, the abusers among us)—only adds an additional alienating layer of difficulty). Beholding these depressive scenes of even supportive family members getting bucked off my syntactic bronco makes me feel like a dinosaur who should get a hint and, if not succumb to the brain rot of skibidi-toilet speak, just hang himself already. Even though the decline in linguistic background and grammatical voltage makes my compositions seem quixotic in a world binging Netflix and TikTok, I persist—raging against the dying of the light—by some internal compulsion to celebrate the richness of language and thought.
My hope is that, despite social media’s unparalleled power to farm our attention, people never forget the unique power of writing. Beyond unveiling hypocrisy, teasing out complex implications, and detailing the commonalities between even the most alien phenomena, writing offers something we need today—trapped in agoraphobic cyber bubbles only thickened by the Lyme dangers of forests and the COVID dangers of cities—perhaps more than ever. Granting us rich access to the first-person perspectives of others (to how things feel to them), writing serves as one of humanity’s best tools for combating loneliness. It allows us to linger, broadly and deeply and at high resolution, within the inner lives of others in a way that other arts can only suggest.
What to Expect
My work spans a broad spectrum: from metaphysical discourses on free will and determinism and the ontology of holes to the ephemera of western culture (whether the childhood impacts of the hypersexual mono-image of black woman as squirting twerkers or Terrence Howard’s sham revolution of mathematics). Some tight and minimal, others free-flowing sprawls; some heady and abstract, others emotional and imagistic—my inkwell musings, which often blend scholarly rigor with a dark humor from both high and low culture, aim to capture the visceral intensity of our personal and social and ultimately existential predicaments.
By no means can I deny that drug abuse, sexual assault, and the tales of the broken and the damned loom large in the tag cloud of my work. My writing will never be a paradise of easy truths and comforting lies. It will challenge you, provoke you, and at times even repulse you. I offer no apologies for the monsters I unleash. They are as much a part of us, at long root scared rodent mammals scurrying in the shadows of dinosaurs, as our noblest aspirations.
But make no mistake. It is not all downer darkness. The archives are my receipts. You will find pieces exploring the pursuit of authenticity in a media-saturated world, the search for meaning in an indifferent cosmos, and the celebration of beauty in both the sublime and the profane. I locate much of my inspiration, in fact, in novelists like Dostoevsky and poets like Ted Kooser—writers unafraid to pursue moral agendas or risk Hallmark sentimentality in an age that often sneers at sincerity.
Be they satirical dissections of modern social dynamics or poignant poems about addiction or academic articles on moral responsibility, my goal is to provoke thought, evoke emotion, and foster meaningful dialogue. Fear has not and will not stop me from challenging humanity’s fundamental taboos (like bestiality and cannibalism) or self-reflecting into the dark chaos of the subconscious, even if that means exposing the Jungian shadows—the inner Goebbels—lurking within us all!
Expect posts each day, no day missed. Donations are welcome, but I impose no paywall: it feels wrong to charge for art, especially given our date with obliteration. Feel free to explore what amounts to, at the time of writing this, close to a thousand pieces of poetry and prose here. That should give you a sense of what awaits.
Join me—specula holstered—on this literary odyssey into the public and private nooks of the hive Being. Let us navigate the labyrinth of creation together, confronting our demons and even slaying our darlings if we must. Let us dance on the razor’s edge between the sublime and the profane in pursuit of an elusive literary perfection never to be confused—as it has been confused in our declining civilization—with the pursuit of popularity or likeability over truth.
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Posts
Istvan Creative Writing Bios
The reader should know, however, that some biographical information regarding early-childhood development might prove relevant here. Istvan grew up in a time and place where most of the people closest to him had something special going for them, a trump card—constantly leaned upon, constantly providing succor, constantly manifested in their swagger, constantly verbalized as an unconscious soothing mechanism to stoke endorphins of gratitude (healing even in the toughest times): the fact that, to cite the slogan so often used in moments grave and gay, “at least I’m not white.”
In That Way
**In That Way** is a vivid, poignant exploration of the fleeting moments of normalcy and hope experienced by a family grappling with addiction. The poem juxtaposes the harsh realities of drug use with the fragile hope of recovery, using powerful imagery and layered symbolism.
The opening lines set a stark scene: "Close to an 8-ball cut into one mother rail / on the jacket of Skynyrd’s Street Survivors / (frayed and faded by a dead father’s life)." The 8-ball, a slang term for a measure of cocaine, introduces the pervasive presence of drugs. The reference to Skynyrd's *Street Survivors* album, particularly one worn and "frayed and faded by a dead father’s life," suggests a legacy of hardship and loss. This album choice is significant; *Street Survivors* was released just days before the band's tragic plane crash, infusing the poem with a sense of foreboding and the shadow of past trauma.
The phrase "in that thinning sliver before / tunnel vision cloisters them again" captures the transient clarity before the drugs' effects take hold. The "kitchen glow" symbolizes a brief return to the familial and familiar, where the boys, "conjoined by mistrust of solo-detour sniffs," hint at the communal nature of their addiction, bound together by both camaraderie and suspicion.
The "Blackhole pupils" are a striking metaphor for the emptiness and allure of drug use, where the "fool’s gold" represents the false promises and illusory rewards of their addiction. Yet, despite this, "the boys sparkle in that way that fills Mom," suggesting that even in their altered state, there remains a glimmer of their former selves that brings fleeting comfort to their mother.
Mom's actions, "stirring a big pot of what they will not eat," underscore the futility and heartbreak of her efforts to care for them, juxtaposed with the boys’ "frenetic voltage," an image conveying both their hyperactive state and the electric, unstable energy they exude.
The final lines evoke a wistful hope: "where there is talk, daylight / talk, of sports and crushes, school and jobs; / talk, as seasons turn, of kicking the habit." This "daylight talk" contrasts sharply with the darkness of their addiction, reflecting ordinary aspirations and the cyclical nature of their lives. The reference to "seasons turn" suggests the passage of time and the recurring hope for change and recovery, even as the reality remains fraught with difficulty.
In sum, **In That Way** captures the complex interplay of despair and hope within a family affected by addiction. It highlights the moments of human connection and normalcy that persist despite the overarching shadow of drug use, offering a nuanced portrayal of the struggle for recovery and the enduring, if fragile, bonds of family.
The Printout
The Printout is a vivid, emotionally charged narrative that plunges the reader into the frantic, anxiety-ridden world of a latchkey adolescent. The poem meticulously chronicles the boy’s desperate attempts to cover up evidence of his secret, deviant activities before his mother’s inevitable return, capturing both his internal turmoil and the oppressive atmosphere of his home.
The opening lines set the tone of urgency and fear: "It was a heart-pounding last-minute scramble— / a dance the barely-teen latchkey knew by heart." This immediately draws the reader into the boy’s routine of hiding his transgressions, indicating that this is a familiar, albeit distressing, ritual.
The boy’s actions are described with a stark, almost clinical precision: "He washed his lather-proof hand (over dishes) / as best he could, his pelvic floor still echoing." The mention of his "pelvic floor still echoing" suggests recent masturbation, adding to the sense of guilt and shame. The detailed hiding of various incriminating items—petroleum jelly, a makeshift masturbatory device, and skid-stained panties—paints a picture of a young boy grappling with his burgeoning sexuality in isolation and fear.
The imagery of "rocks in its radon walls like eyes" and "curtain shadows ghostly on wood-panel walls" evokes a sense of surveillance and paranoia, as if the house itself is judging him. This feeling is compounded by the anticipation of his mother’s arrival, marked by the "door slam / reverberating through the uninsulated hollows."
The poem’s climax centers around the titular printout, an inkjet image of a pornographic nature that the boy had used moments before: "Smackdab on the living room carpet, / in the traffic-worn path, lay an inkjet image— / washed out from a cartridge low on black, / too yellow from an empty cyan—pixilated / on printer paper: black thighs, spread-eagle." The boy’s meticulous efforts to conceal his actions are rendered futile by this overlooked detail, which his mother discovers with horror.
The mother's reaction—"What the fuck is this?!"—heightens the tension, her repeated exclamations underscoring the shock and disgust she feels. The boy's simultaneous dread and curiosity are palpable: "Yet by the time he reached the cold doorknob, / confident there was no way he failed to cover / every taboo track, he found himself possessed / more so by a twisted curiosity to learn, that if / by some crazy chance he had been found out, / what damning detail he could have missed."
The final lines of the poem convey the boy’s paralysis and fear: "she thrust the gleaming gorgon head (half-balled) / out in his direction (arm’s length), turning him / to stone in the ramshackle threshold, his expiry / dribbling coagulated to black waitress sneakers." The "gleaming gorgon head" metaphorically transforms the printout into a Medusa-like figure, turning the boy to stone with its damning revelation. The imagery of his "expiry / dribbling coagulated to black waitress sneakers" suggests both his psychological death and the physical evidence of his shame.
The Printout masterfully explores themes of secrecy, shame, and the complexities of adolescent sexuality. Through its detailed narrative and rich imagery, the poem captures the intense emotions of a young boy caught between his private desires and the harsh judgment of the outside world.
AA Meeting
In "AA Meeting," M. A. Istvan Jr. captures the raw, unfiltered experience of a struggling individual at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, portraying the intensity and fragility of early sobriety. The poem opens with the vivid image of a hand fidgeting with "metallic ratatats," a metaphor that evokes the nervous energy and inner turmoil of someone wrestling with addiction. This hand, described as "too broken, too shifty in accent," symbolizes the fragmented and unstable state of the individual, whose mind is likened to "the brainstem wall scrabblings of a feral cat in a drown barrel." This powerful metaphor not only conveys a sense of desperation and entrapment but also the chaotic and primal instincts driving the addict's behavior.
The setting of the poem, a church basement, is significant as it underscores the solemnity and communal aspect of AA meetings, where individuals seek solace and support. The "knuckle staccato" shaking the basement suggests the pervasive anxiety and restlessness within the group, a shared struggle that is both individual and collective. The speaker's scowl, directed leftward, reflects a silent plea for connection or understanding, one that is met with desolation, highlighting the isolation often felt by those battling addiction.
The pivotal moment in the poem occurs on the speaker's seventh day of sobriety, a time when the temptation to relapse is particularly strong. The speaker's hand, in an almost involuntary act, reaches out to still the "whacko rudiments" of the fidgeting hand. This gesture of human connection, though seemingly small, carries profound significance. The physical touch not only steadies the fidgeting hand but also provides a grounding moment for the speaker, who finds an unexpected strength in this act of solidarity.
The convergence of eyes within the circle upon this touch signifies a collective acknowledgment and support, a crucial aspect of the AA community. The speaker, initially tempted to use this moment as an "excuse to go home, to mainline oblivion," instead finds the strength to remain present. The fact that the fidgeting hand does not pull away, but rather holds the speaker's hand throughout the session, symbolizes mutual support and a shared commitment to recovery. This touch, "faithful" and unwavering, becomes the catalyst for the speaker to speak for the first time, breaking through the barrier of silence and isolation.
Istvan's poem poignantly captures the delicate balance between despair and hope, illustrating how small acts of human connection can provide the strength needed to overcome the urge to relapse. The depiction of the AA meeting, with its raw and visceral imagery, offers a powerful testament to the resilience of individuals in recovery and the importance of community in the journey toward sobriety.
M. A. Istvan Jr., AA Meeting, addiction recovery, early sobriety, human connection, Alcoholics Anonymous, support group, raw experience, vivid imagery, metaphor, resilience, community, addiction struggle, poetic exploration, recovery journey.
On The Forest Trail
Michael Anthony Istvan Jr.'s poem "On the Forest Trail" offers a harrowing exploration of memory, guilt, and moral corruption through the narrator’s troubled relationship with a mentally impaired girl from his past. The poem, divided into three sections, meticulously unveils layers of darkness and complexity, reflecting Istvan's deep engagement with the themes of exploitation and psychological trauma.
The first section immerses the reader in a series of grotesque and vivid images that delineate the girl’s existence. Her compulsive hoarding and secretive consumption of Tootsie Rolls in hidden, filthy nooks reflect a desperate search for comfort in an environment marked by neglect and decay. Istvan’s language is stark and unflinching, describing the girl’s hiding places under a urine-soaked mattress, within a closet contaminated with cat excrement, and in a drainpipe near a bus stop. These settings, alongside the girl's physical description—her bull-necked frame, her scissored bangs, and cross-eyed glare—construct a portrait of someone marginalized and dehumanized. The narrator's detailed observations hint at a voyeuristic fascination, compounded by an underlying sense of complicity and guilt.
Transitioning to the forest trail in the second section, Istvan juxtaposes the girl's primal existence with the narrator's more complex and morally ambiguous feelings. The forest trail becomes a setting where the narrator momentarily escapes societal norms, finding a perverse solace in the girl’s presence. She is depicted as almost elemental, an embodiment of pure, unfiltered existence. This stark contrast to the narrator's internal turmoil highlights his envy of her simplicity and unawareness. However, the narrative quickly takes a darker turn as the narrator describes his sexual exploitation of the girl with brutal honesty. The explicit details serve to underscore the depth of his moral depravity and the girl's complete vulnerability.
The final section of the poem confronts the lasting impact of these experiences on the narrator. The image of the girl's oversized, neon windbreaker becomes a powerful symbol of his unresolved guilt and the omnipresent weight of his past actions. This piece of clothing, with its faded vibrancy, haunts the narrator throughout his life, intruding into his domestic and professional spaces. It represents the inescapable nature of his moral failings and the enduring presence of his guilt. The narrator’s reflection on his actions reveals a profound self-recrimination, acknowledging his cowardice and the priority he gave to societal perception over genuine care and responsibility.
Istvan’s "On the Forest Trail" is a potent exploration of the darker aspects of human nature, forcing readers to confront uncomfortable truths about exploitation, guilt, and the long-term consequences of our actions. The poem's unflinching language and vivid imagery create a compelling narrative that challenges readers to grapple with the complexity of moral decay and psychological trauma.
Keywords:
Michael Anthony Istvan Jr., On the Forest Trail, memory, guilt, moral corruption, mental impairment, exploitation, vivid imagery, grotesque imagery, neglect, psychological trauma, voyeurism, forest trail, primal existence, sexual exploitation, haunting past, neon windbreaker, unresolved guilt, self-recrimination, human nature, moral decay.
Jelly High
**Jelly High** is a reflective poem that captures the interplay of youthful rebellion, the mundane rituals of late-night snacking, and the subtle dynamics of family tension. Through its vivid and candid narrative, the poem explores the speaker’s attempts to navigate the complexities of adolescence under the watchful eyes of parental figures.
The poem opens with the speaker recounting their nightly routine as a teenager, coming home "blown from the flat-brown weed of Chamber’s Street." This sets the scene of youthful experimentation and the desire for solitude and comfort in familiar routines. The choice of "midnight PB and J" sandwiches signifies a return to simple pleasures and childhood comforts, juxtaposed with the speaker's altered state.
The presence of the mother’s room "right at the kitchen" introduces a layer of tension. The speaker describes "clench[ing] through the sound of breaking the fridge’s sticky-gasket seal," illustrating a careful, almost stealthy approach to avoid detection. This tension is further emphasized by the effort to "minimize open-door light time," highlighting the speaker’s awareness of their mother's proximity and the potential for conflict.
In the dark kitchen, the act of preparing a sandwich becomes a moment of self-assuredness and secretive joy. The speaker’s internal monologue, "I’m fuckin’ rockin’ this!" reflects a sense of pride in their covert culinary skills. The "secret beat" that accompanies the process suggests a private rhythm and escape, a fleeting moment of control and grace amid the constraints of their environment. The concern over "beatboxing it" underscores the paranoia and heightened sensitivity typical of being high.
The poem takes a turn with the morning aftermath, where the speaker wakes to their mother's anger about "jelly down the counter cabinets." This recurring issue raises the speaker’s suspicions about their stepfather possibly "fucking with" them, introducing an element of familial mistrust and unease. The meticulous effort to clean up "even when, as usual, all was already clear" reveals a desire to avoid confrontation and maintain a semblance of order, despite the underlying chaos.
In summary, **Jelly High** poignantly captures the adolescent struggle for autonomy and the complexities of family relationships. Through the lens of a nightly ritual, the poem reveals the tension between rebellion and the yearning for comfort, set against the backdrop of a household fraught with unspoken rules and subtle power dynamics.
Ekstasis
She wash-clothed her goosey region and burst
for the kitchen to quiet the hunger barks
so as not to get shit about chores undone.
Bent into the cupboard, she was scooping kibble
when the pit-bull terrier ran its snout just right
into the nude spread of her teensy rear.
The cold of the pink nose shocked her system.
“Like it, Tricks?” she asked, rising around.
Ear stiff, the dog tilted its head and barked once.
“Got it good, see?” were her mons-jutted words
as she parted lips blue-vein pale, unveiling
the same pink that edged the dog’s mouth.
She was caught up inspecting for herself
when Tricks stole a lap. “Hey there mister!
What do you think you’re doing with that?”
But the menthol cold cream for the shave
had her much more hot and bothered, apulse,
than the old conditioner approach. Possessed,
and pearly papillae enflamed as they become
on a starving tongue tasting pomegranate,
she clawed out a glob of chunky peanut butter
and slathered it into rosebud holes, muting
the icy burn. Missionary on cold terrazzo tile,
she took the cleaning by the tropical tongue,
aware of the deep buzz within of ovulation.
Her blonde head fell hard on the floor. Dizzy,
she gave in to the mons feast of slobber.
Along with the sheer taboo of the act
and that parents were due home any minute,
not tensing against the risk of being bitten
made the pulsing pleasure overwhelming.
Galloping out of her pelvic-thrusting body,
she slapped on more and more of the chunk
in a frenzy that triggered frenzy in Tricks
(thought by the household too dumb to learn any).
Black nails untrimmed swelling the cold space
with slipping clicks, the dog snap-snapped at spray
with the chomps of hose play, those throaty sounds
of the Hebrew Chaim: “Hahyim, Hahyim, Hayhim.”
Tribular
**Tribular** is a stark and gritty exploration of the lives of the poor in a decaying urban environment. Through vivid and often harsh imagery, the poem paints a portrait of a community struggling with poverty, neglect, and societal disdain. The poem's tone is unflinchingly honest, capturing the raw reality of life in a place where survival is a daily challenge.
The poem begins with a direct address, situating the reader in a city characterized by its disadvantaged population—BOCES students and middle-school dropouts. The imagery of "rocket-thrusting" suggests a frenetic, desperate energy driving the inhabitants. The focus shifts to the poor, depicted as marginalized and overlooked, their presence a stark contrast to the downtown areas undergoing hipster-led gentrification.
The water imagery is particularly striking, with well-water described as "crimson" and flammable, highlighting the hazardous living conditions. This dangerous water becomes a point of pride, a macabre joke in a place where humor serves as a coping mechanism. The kerosene heaters and tock-tocking buckets paint a picture of makeshift, precarious living arrangements, while the description of utility-grade bacon in white cartons emphasizes the low quality of available food.
Pride and defiance emerge as themes, with the poor boasting not just about their hardships but also about their ability to read, steal, and fight. Their struggle with literacy is depicted with a touch of irony, as they attempt to read words like "hickory smoked" with a mix of determination and humor. This struggle is a metaphor for their broader fight for dignity and recognition.
The poem delves into the physical and social ramifications of poverty. The inhabitants' health issues—rickets, lead exposure, obesity, warts, retardation, and flu—are laid bare, illustrating the toll that poverty takes on the body and mind. The image of "teen diarrheas from diaper to hair" conveys the squalor and lack of sanitation in their living conditions.
Despite the grim circumstances, the poem highlights a sense of community and loyalty. Friends and family members are brought into their homes, regardless of the strain it puts on already limited resources. This tribalism, though post-industrial and tainted by the smell of bleach and shit, offers a semblance of support and solidarity.
The poem concludes with a personal touch, describing visits from the narrator's mother. Her act of giving the narrator an old blanket, used by those in dire conditions, symbolizes the persistence of familial bonds and care even in the face of overwhelming adversity.
In summary, **Tribular** is a powerful and unflinching examination of poverty and resilience. Through its vivid, often brutal imagery, the poem captures the harsh realities of life on the margins, while also acknowledging the strength and defiance of those who endure it.
Bloodworms
**Bloodworms** is a vivid and unsettling exploration of a father-son relationship set against the backdrop of a fishing trip during striper season on the Hudson River in the early nineties. The poem delves into themes of fear, masculinity, and the transmission of skills and expectations from parent to child, all while painting a detailed and visceral picture of the fishing experience.
The poem opens with a scene of contrast: the tranquil setting of the Hudson River juxtaposed with the toxicity warnings for fish caught north of the Tappan Zee. The father, described as "bareback-sloshed with beer and sun," embodies a rugged, carefree attitude towards life and its dangers. His deep-sea pole and the act of fishing for food despite health warnings underscore his disregard for caution and perhaps a need to provide in the most direct way possible.
The task of baiting the hook with bloodworms falls to the speaker, a young child at the time, who is "too little to do much more than pass" and "too afraid to dig" through the unsettling contents of the worm carton. The description of the bloodworms—"seven-inch aggressive: venom-fanged, a band of pulsing skin tags down each side"—is both graphic and menacing, highlighting the child's fear and the grotesque nature of the task.
The father's casual question, "Wanna try baitin’ the bitch?", is loaded with implicit expectations. His delivery, meant to make the task seem simple, only serves to underscore the command inherent in his question. The father knows his son well enough to anticipate his fear and hesitation. He leaves the boy "nerve-racked, just a moment," before demonstrating the ease with which he handles the worms, a subtle way of teaching through example while also asserting his own capability and toughness.
The father's method of baiting the hook is described in meticulous, almost clinical detail. He squeezes the worm to protract its "eversible proboscis" and allows its fangs to pierce his finger. This act, almost ritualistic, serves as a moment of bonding and a demonstration of the father's toughness. The imagery of the worm's blood, "the color of ours," pooling in the creases of his hands and dripping to the rocks, creates a visceral connection between the human and the non-human, the father and the son, the mundane and the grotesque.
In summary, **Bloodworms** captures the complexity of a father-son relationship through the lens of a fishing trip. The poem explores themes of fear, expectation, and masculinity, set against a richly detailed backdrop that brings the reader into the heart of the experience. The vivid imagery and emotional undercurrents make it a powerful and evocative piece.
Air Brakes
**Air Brakes** poignantly captures a fleeting moment of parental observation and connection as a child transitions from home to the outside world. The poem evokes themes of growth, separation, and the enduring bond between parent and child, set against the everyday backdrop of a school bus ride.
The opening line, "Soon he will trudge up the steps of the school bus," immediately places the reader in a familiar yet emotionally charged setting. The word "trudge" suggests a sense of routine and reluctance, hinting at the child's mixed feelings about leaving the safety of home. The phrase "thinking perhaps nothing of me" introduces a bittersweet note, reflecting the parent's awareness of the child's growing independence and the inevitable distancing that comes with it.
Despite this impending separation, the child remains "so tender, still so tethered to my side," illustrating the deep emotional connection that persists even when the child is "mad at me or just moody that morning." This acknowledgment of the child's fluctuating emotions highlights the parent's understanding and acceptance of these moods as part of their bond.
The poem's focus then shifts to a specific action: the child taking a window seat. This choice of seating, "where I can see him in profile from the doorstep," becomes a symbolic act of connection. The window seat allows the parent to maintain a visual link with the child, emphasizing the significance of these small, everyday gestures in preserving their relationship.
The imagery of the child's eyes "just barely perceptible through the tint" underlines the theme of partial separation and the subtle ways in which the child remains connected to the parent. The child's glance, cutting toward the parent's eyes "at the lunging hiss of the air brakes," serves as a powerful, almost instinctive moment of acknowledgment. This brief eye contact, framed by the sound of the air brakes, encapsulates the enduring connection between parent and child amidst the backdrop of their daily routine.
In summary, **Air Brakes** is a touching reflection on the subtle yet profound moments of connection between a parent and child as they navigate the transitions of growing up. The poem captures the tenderness and complexity of these interactions with evocative imagery and emotional depth, making it a resonant and poignant piece.
Yorkies
Yorkies
Through cage bars these rodents watch me/
suck marrow from chicken bones. How many/
must be overtaken by that clenching urge/
to torment such pathetics—swooned//
by the thought of lowering them, cages/
rock-weighted, yapping into the sea./
Yet so many do only what they can—/
just enough to keep on with their lives://
jab-jab jabbing at them with fork,/
with butter knife, steak knife—face/
redder with each thrust thwarted/
by bars, by slippings of the jab;//
feeding them a few grapes or raisins,/
pepper sauce and vodka—dry kibble/
merely sniffed before being dumped/
in the woods for the sake of the wife;//
running them, mere leash weights,/
through brambles—so insistent upon/
continuous top speed that the leashes,/
their loop handles, strip finger creases;//
screeching the SUV to a rocking halt/
a few sweet houses down—those rats,/
fake-forgotten, having been bumper-tied/
while packing for the family outing;//
crush-rubbing the little one’s face,/
black bangs over its pathetic eyes,/
too hard too quick into the tile/
of urine and shit—oscillation blur;//
hammer-throwing that same little one/
over the house—the leash windup/
drawn-out for centrifugal torture/
in the heart-pounding secret of night.
Were Art Other to Nature, Might Holes Link Them (More Purely than Gardens)?
"Were Art Other to Nature, Might Holes Link Them (More Purely than Gardens)?" is a reflective exploration of the concept of holes and their multifaceted implications. The poem uses the simple and relatable example of a bagel to delve into profound philosophical questions about existence,
The poem begins with a seemingly mundane question: "What is a bagel without a hole?" This question sets the stage for a deeper investigation into the nature of holes and their significance. Comparing a bagel without a hole to "a shade of yellow without extension" or "a whale call without duration" illustrates how intrinsic the hole is to the identity of a bagel. This sets up the idea that a hole, although it doesn't provide physical substance or nourishment, is an essential aspect of the bagel's existence.
The poet then discusses the inseparable relationship between the hole and the bagel: "When I buy a true bagel, however, I buy a hole. Dough, technically, is not enough." This line emphasizes that the hole is an inherent part of the bagel, despite its lack of physical presence. The comparison to the voids left by Pompeiians further explores the idea of absence and presence, suggesting that even if the surrounding material is removed, the concept of the hole persists.
The exploration continues with the bagel's hole having a causal role and a history. The poet describes how the hole comes to be when the baker fuses the dough-strip ends, and how it changes during baking. This dynamic quality of the hole, including its resilience when filled with a finger, illustrates the complexity of what might seem like a simple void.
The second section shifts to a more philosophical and abstract discussion. The poet introduces the idea of creating a hole by displacing water with a hand, broadening the concept to include various types of holes. This leads to a playful yet thought-provoking moment with the poet's child, who counts the holes in a box of bagels, reinforcing the relativity and perception of holes.
The poet questions the reality of holes, suggesting that discussing holes might just be a way of talking about the objects that create them. The paradox of a hole within a swim tube being both stationary and spinning challenges the reader to think about the nature of space and existence.
The poet reflects on historical and natural examples of holes, such as the cavities left by the people of Pompeii and the intricate structures in caves. These examples highlight the presence and impact of holes, even if they are created by the absence of matter. The poem argues that holes, whether real or imagined, play a crucial role in how we understand and describe the world.
In the final section, the poet returns to the bagel, emphasizing that filling a hole with anything other than its original substance still leaves the hole intact. This reinforces the idea that holes are markers of rupture and transition. The poet concludes that holes are relative and dependent on perspective, suggesting that the bagel itself could be seen as a hole in the "World-All."
The poem ultimately contemplates the nature of existence and the importance of absence as much as presence. By using the simple metaphor of a bagel's hole, the poet invites readers to consider the profound implications of voids and how they shape our understanding of reality. The work challenges conventional perceptions and encourages a deeper exploration of the spaces and gaps that define our world.
Visiting Elizabeth
**Visiting Elizabeth** is a poignant and evocative narrative that delves into themes of familial disarray, childhood trauma, and the painful nuances of supervised family visits. The poem captures a specific moment in time, laden with the emotional weight of strained family dynamics and the stark realities of a broken system.
The poem begins with a recollection of the last time the narrator saw his sister, Elizabeth, in 1998. This visit, marked by a CPS-supervised meeting at the city hall in Poughkeepsie, sets a somber tone. The stark contrast between the narrator's age of fifteen and Elizabeth's tender age of three highlights the responsibility and burden he carries at such a young age.
The journey to Poughkeepsie is depicted through the uncomfortable ride in their grandparents' car, underscoring the cramped and unpleasant conditions. The narrator's position on his father's lap, surrounded by garbage bags, amplifies the sense of suffocation and the inescapable presence of dysfunction. The "stench amplified by Grandma and her Yorkie" adds a visceral layer to the experience, painting a vivid picture of discomfort and neglect.
The poem's second section shifts to the immediate events before the visit. The father’s need for cigarettes and the stop at the gas station introduce an element of instability and dependency. The narrator's reluctant compliance in holding the brown-bagged 40 hints at a role reversal, where the child assumes responsibilities beyond his years. The mention of Grandma’s "hand-brushed red" Mazda and her repeated calls to remember the camera and coloring book indicate a semblance of routine in their chaotic lives.
In the park, the father's nervous demeanor and his clandestine drinking highlight his struggles and attempt to cope with the impending visit. The narrator's refusal to drink and his decision to reject carrying the beer further underscore his role as the reluctant caretaker. The act of burying the beer in the snow becomes a symbolic gesture of hiding their dysfunction from public scrutiny, emphasized by the narrator's remark to a passing suit, “Gotta keep it cool.”
Inside the city hall, the setting transitions to the controlled environment of the meeting room. The brief interaction with Elizabeth, marked by her grimace at the foreign beer kisses and retreat to the caseworker's lap, poignantly captures the emotional distance and the unnaturalness of their encounter. The act of taking pictures while Elizabeth colors becomes a metaphor for capturing fleeting moments of connection amidst the pervasive sense of estrangement.
The poem concludes with their departure, highlighting the fleeting nature of the visit. Grandpa’s curbside presence, the father’s fabricated excuses about money, and the eventual purchase of lottery tickets paint a picture of futility and the cyclical nature of their circumstances. The mention of the Win4 lotto numbers serves as a stark reminder of their reliance on chance and the slim hopes for a better future.
**Visiting Elizabeth** intricately weaves together the narrator’s observations, the dysfunctional family dynamics, and the stark realities of supervised visits, creating a powerful narrative that resonates with themes of loss, responsibility, and the enduring impact of a fractured family system. The poem's vivid imagery and raw honesty provide a window into the complexities of growing up in an environment marked by instability and yearning for connection.
The Head through the Face
The Head through the Face
It is notoriously difficult to see
heads through faces. Think of how
difficult it is to see the homey logo
“Colgate” in its pure meatness,
where the word no longer sticks
to the familiar thing in your hand.
Artists have tried to unconceal
the head by deforming the face:
smudging, stretching the region.
This does help meatness emerge.
But what emerges is not the head
in question. That head is ruined.
Reordering the Colgate letters,
while bringing out the pure shape
of the letters, ruins the pure shape
of the logo itself. Shape, of course,
is what makes this meat this meat.
Although they do not guarantee
that the collective human stratum
of associations will peel away,
such distortions do go some way
toward unconcealing the meat
beneath. They open us to falling
into those dissociative modes
where the very same structures
emerge as pure meat, as they do
sometimes when stared at enough
in free moments of private calm
or when they are dead: the head
emerges in dead humans where
all the tension goes and the head
just hangs (Christ on the cross);
the pure shape of the logo too,
disassociated from its message,
emerges from diverse coverings
(product associations, nostalgia,
whatever) when worn and dirtied
among rotting garbage where
its lack of divinity lies exposed.
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Don’t let anyone tell you that real life is lacking in poetic interest. This is exactly what the poet is for: he has the mind and the imagination to find something of interest in everyday things. Real life supplies the motifs, the points that need to be said—the actual heart of the matter; but it is the poet’s job to fashion it all into a beautiful, animated whole. You are familiar with Fürnstein, the so-called “nature poet”? He has written a poem about growing hops, and you couldn’t imagine anything nicer. I have now asked him to write some poems celebrating the work of skilled artisans, in particular weavers, and I am quite sure he will succeed; he has lived among such people from an early age, he knows the subject inside out, and will be in full command of his material. That is the advantage of small works: you need only choose subjects that you know and have at your command. With a longer poetic work, however, this is not possible. There is no way around it: all the different threads that tie the whole thing together, and are woven into the design, have to be shown in accurate detail. Young people only have a one-sided view of things, whereas a longer work requires a multiplicity of viewpoints—and that’s where they come unstuck.—Goethe (Conversations with Eckermann)
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